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rainy day made for a wonderful chance for the three of us to finally spend
some quiet time together. Faith and Elissa climbed into my bed and
snuggled up to me, at the same time taking all but a corner of my blanket
from my prying hands. It was only 9:00, who wakes up this early,
especially in the summer time? I slowly opened my eyes, and suddenly it
hit me. My girls were here, here in my home. In our home! Finally, I had
my babies, only they weren't babies anymore.
My wife was no longer part of our lives. She had long since lost control
of her life. Her drug addiction had seen to that. I pray for her every
night, that she might surrender and seek help, but it was out of my
control. If and when, she decides to ask for help, I will be the first one
there for her.
So now, I was all my angels had, as far as someone to care for them,
nurture them, and provide for them as they deserved.
A man could never understand how much time and energy goes into being a
mother. I for one, never thought it to be such a big job, after all I was
the one out there everyday working a job I hated and putting the food on
the table, as well as paying all the bills. That was how I thought before.
I now a new respect for motherhood and it seemed to me at the time that I
was way over my head.
At that time, the girls were preparing to start at a new school. Elissa
was starting kindergarten and she needed uniforms for school. So off we
went on our first shopping excursion. Three hours and 2 advils later, we
finally made it back home.
It was getting close to dinner and I decided to take the easy way out and
go thru the fast food window, which seemed to please them just fine. And
then it started to get a little tricky. Do they take showers? Do they take
baths. Do they bathe together.
As the weeks passed by, I began to understand their needs, as well as
their schedules. I was on my way. I was beginning to make the journey
towards motherhood. I cooked them dinner, dressed them for school, drove
them to soccer practice, and yes, believe it or not, I even joined the
p.t.a, along with the other mothers.
Four years have passed, the children have become little ladies. They are
helping me in so many ways. I understand my role as a father and I have
learned that i can never replace the special relationship a young girl has
with her mother. I have no control over that and I accept it. I can only
do what ever it takes to be the best parent possible for my girls. God
knows, I love them more than life itself, and we shall all live happily
ever after. God Bless our children, for surely he has blessed me.
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